Real-World Smash
by tommyboa
Summary: What happens when the Smashers become real people, leading real lives with no memory of their pasts? Samus is a cop, Pit is a pilot student, Fox is his instructor, Zelda is mayor, and Link is a marksman with a big collection of weapons!
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first fanfic.**

**Not sure yet if this will be a series of one-shots or if I'll tie it up like the ABC series "Once upon a Time" style. **

**Send me suggestions on what I should do for the characters.**

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters. Super Smash Bros. belongs to Nintendo.

A stakeout. No rush. No headaches. No sound. Nothing but pure silence. This was the part she loved about this job. It was just so. . .calm. Most people probably wouldn't be able to wait this long, except for Sam. To her, this was complete bliss. She didn't understand why people went out of their way to make their lives so chaotic, like there was something that always needed to be fixed. At times some of that chaos would seep into her, so she preferred to be alone. She stayed away from people, kept herself out of social circles, (which she did not understand WHY people would work themselves up about) and other people left her alone. After all, she was the toughest cop on force, and could easily beat all the guys in an arm-wrestling match. But right now, sitting in a car with a candy bar, a soft drink, and a police scanner for companionship, she was simply happy to be alone. Sam looked in the mirror, brushed her blond hair aside to in order to see, and made a mental note to get new contacts.

Ever since she discovered and stopped a mob operation two years back, the station had given her a raise, job perks, but more importantly, a lot more freedom in the way she carried out her assignments. For instance, on a stakeout like this, Sam would usually be paired up with another cop, which she couldn't stand. Rookies got in the way, were inexperienced, asked too many questions, and felt they had to be totally by the book. On the other hand, her superiors and older cops, minus a select few, went out of their way to boss her around and made her do things, again, by the book completely. Because of the freedom they let her have in her missions, Sam decided, unless it was absolutely necessary, to perform all of her assignments alone. And it paid off. When someone wasn't telling her exactly what to do, or asking her what to do, she carried out her tasks quickly and effectively.

So, when she was told to wait at Meyenberg lane in the dumpier part of town, where illegal street racing had been going on, and to go undercover and find someone named Ridley that they suspected was in charge of a criminal operation, Sam jumped at the chance. A stakeout meant a little more time for her to unwind by herself. Around 1:00 AM, when the sleazy racers and spectators would start getting together, she would get out of the car, head across the street into an alley near Riley's Diner, and basically walk until she heard loud noises.

Sam turned the car on to check the time and realized she was twenty minutes late. She rushed out of the car, slammed the door, adjusted her sunglasses, threw her hood up (she wasn't supposed to wear a uniform if she was undercover, duh), and sped down the alleyway. Steam and fumes were rising from exhaust grates. Sam started to cough from their noxious odor. She hoped this wouldn't take long. After about ten minutes she started to hear a lot of yelling. And engine revving. And there they were, a large crowd of people rooting for their favorite racer by the side of a road. Small groups of riffraff who appeared to be betting on the race gathered near the streetlamps so they could see how much they were putting on the cash line. In her sunglasses, jeans, baseball cap, and blue hoodie, she looked like just another spectator without a life. What a bunch of deadbeats she thought with distaste. She scanned the crowd for the face of Ridley she had seen in the briefing file, but to no avail. Two drivers were getting in their cars, a blue sports car and a black one. The black driver was in clothed all in black, and two small horns on his helmet. The driver of the blue car was dressed entirely in blue, except for yellow shoes, gloves, a yellow scarf, and a red biker helmet with a gold falcon on the forehead. Both cars were christened an animal hood ornament. Black: a bull and blue: a bird of prey. Sam looked towards the huddled men placing bets and again, could not find Ridley.

The drivers started their engines, not that Sam cared. With a squeal of their tires both cars took off. She kept searching and- wait: someone in one of the other alleys. Sam made her way through the cheering crowd towards the alley and quickly walked along the road at an angle so she couldn't be seen from the alleyway. She was almost there until she heard tires skidding and screams. She saw metal crumpled against a bus stop and a crushed hood. The blue car had apparently gone out of control as the black driver sped off around the corner, not a thought towards the other driver. The crowd quickly started to leave. No one wanted to be there if and when cops came. The figure in the alley left, no longer having any interest. Sam normally would pursue her quarry, but in this instance she had to see if he was still alive. It was her job to check out things like this. Besides, he might know something about Ridley. Sam ran over to the wreck and pulled the unconscious body out. She checked for a pulse and incredibly, he was still alive. She pulled out her phone, called an ambulance, and tried to find a wallet or something that would tell her who he was. She finally found it and pulled out a driver's license. Douglas Jay Falcon. Huh. Sam reached to take off his racing helmet when his hand shot up and grabbed her wrist to stop her. She didn't know what this guy had against his helmet being taken off, but if that's what he wanted, then fine. The ambulance and a squad car arrived, she flashed her badge, gave a report, and the medics loaded him up. As they raised him on to a stretcher, Sam saw something she hadn't noticed before. Two words on his racing uniform that were hidden by his scarf: Captain Falcon.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: Hi, so this is my second chapter. Thanks so much to all of you guys who enjoyed the first! Panda-chan1358, my apologies if you saw this and felt I ripped off your idea. I was not aware your story was already in existence, and I didn't realize that the idea of turning Samus into a cop was already taken. I would like to borrow a few character occupation ideas with your permission (end of apology). I think I'll use samus to tie most of the characters in to the main story, I just don't know how to get the pokemon and the kids in. I could only think of Red liking the pokemon cards and video games so much he named his pets after them. Any suggestions, again are welcome. Everyone IS in the same town, one-shots or not. This chapter won't have quite the same tone as the previous, as the last I based more off of noir. I also was starting to run out of writing inspiration and the roll I was on with the first chapter didn't continue into next. And all romance scenes are based on emotion. I'm an analytical person. The guy in the black car was one of Falcon's rivals, Black Shadow, to those who haven't played F-zero.**

_Ollie and Leif's Gardening Supplies and Floral Arrangements._ That was the name on the sign, decorated with small red, blue, and yellow plant creatures. It was a quaint little shop, and never attracted much attention, despite the fact that many villagers and townspeople enjoyed gardening. Just that shop people go to, get a few things occasionally, and head home.

So Ollie, a little, nearly bald man with a very large nose, was very surprised to find a gun pointed at him that day. A ski mask, a bag, gloves, and a big jacket. The typical appearance of a thief. Why would anyone rob a quiet little shop like this? Oh that's right. It's quiet. And little. Leif was out for the day, so Ollie took care of things himself. He really wished he installed that burgler alarm last month. _This is why the government should have less anti-gun zones_, he thought. Not so that more people could be killed, but so that people could defend themselves. Too late now. He just started handing the money over. The only other person in the shop was a young man with blond hair, wearing a green jacket, and surely he couldn't be of any help. That was one of the biggest mistakes Ollie made in his life.

Because that man happened to be marksman and highly trained in several martial arts. And swordplay.

The man's voice was muffled through his mask. "Don't ya come any closer, ya hear me? Unless you want the little twerp t- do I really have to explain for ya?"

"No". The man said as he made a small smile and appeared to leave. The burglar turned back to Ollie. He was starting to panic. Really panic. That was, until the man leapt out from a behind shelf, used a chain to yank the gun away from Ollie's head so it facing the wall, and proceeded to pull the robber towards him and kicked him in the gut. As soon as the robber was hunched over from the pain, the young man spun behind him, kicked his legs so he fell face down to the floor, and put one hand on the robber's head to keep him down and put his other hand on the robber's wrist to keep the gun so it was pointed at the ceiling. The robber's other hand was still caught in the chain, which the young man still held in his hand. So the burglar was lying facedown with both his hands high above his back*. All while Ollie hid behind the counter calling the police on his phone. Oh, he was definitely installing a burglar alam now.

Ollie was so relieved when the cops pulled up, he considered hiring the man as a bodyguard. Really. A woman with turquoise dyed hair and Jenny on her ID card walked in, searched the burglar and roughly pushed the him into the back of her squad car.

"Ahhh. . . you're Louie Pikeman, aren't you?", she questioned, "According to our files, you were hired to deliver a vegetable shipment, never showed up, and then started robbing small grocery stores. So why a floral shop, hmm?"

Louie shrugged. "Just felt like it I guess."

Jenny turned to the young man. "Thank-you, sir, for your assistance. I'll need both of you to give me a report of what happened in case we ev-wait a sec." The policewoman looked across the street to a man with a wearing a yellow shirt and hat and purple overalls, and a mustache on his face. He started running with a scared look on his face once he saw Jenny. "Excuse me, I'll get back to have to get back to you later," She said quickly and then ran off out the door. "HEY, YOU! YEAH, YOU IN THE PURPLE OVERALLS! YOU STILL OWE US OVER $500 IN PARKING FINES! GET BACK HERE YOU CREEP!" Ollie and the young man stared at this awkward situation until Ollie spoke up.

"Umm. . . , sir, I will let you pick anything from the store for free as a thank-you."

The young man smiled again and walked over to a bouquet of red roses and placed them on the counter. And still payed for them. "Sir", Ollie said again, puzzled, "I said you may have any one item for free." The young man, for the first time in this whole chapter, replied, "Don't worry about it, because I know that you'll do something good for someone else someday." Ollie reluctantly decided to let the man pay. He looked at the roses and asked, "For a special someone, hmm?"

The young man answered, "You might say that."

* * *

><p>*This was a very painful position, as you can imagine.<p>

The mayor got up from her desk and walked over to put on her violet shaded jacket."Isabelle, I'll be leaving early tonight. Will you be to take care of things while I'm gone?" She turned to her blond secretary in a green checkered vest and red ribbon in her hair. Isabelle perked up when she heard this and answered, "Yes ma'am. By the way, that lady running the cake and desert shops around town, Patricia I think her name was,"

"It is," the mayor interrupted.

"Well anyway," the secretary continued,"She sent you ANOTHER batch of free cupcakes."

"Again? What is with her and the continuous free samples?"

"Perpetual friendliness, ma'am?"

"Probably. And I told you to just call me by my given name of Ella."

"Sorry, ma- Ella."

The mayor gave a small smile, amused at her assistant's absent-mindedness. She left the office and walked out of town hall. She decided she would have to get a hooded jacket and dump this trenchcoat someday when she noticed her brown hair blowing in the wind. But it didn't matter, because when she went to met with Luke she knew that every care she had in the world would fade into the distance. She'd been childhood friends with him until he was sent to a boarding school for seven years until he was 18. And after that his family pressured him into entering the military. But when he came back, she could tell that something was a little different. He never talked much anymore except to her. She'd always wondered if anything had happened while he was gone. But seeing as how they had come to love each other in the time since, than what difference did it make?

She headed down the street past the police station and briefly saw a man in purple overalls receiving a stern talking-to by a woman with blue dyed hair. She then continued down the road until she came to the park. And right there, standing under a tree, was Luke. Her heart skipped a beat every time she saw him. Right now, it was going a little crazy. But no, she thought. She couldn't seem like some giddy girl with a crush. Ella fixed her composure, cleared her throat, and walked up to him. They exchanged a few words, then sat down on a nearby bench surrounded by lilacs, bluebells, and crocus flowers. (Translation: I wasn't sure what to put here).

Ella noticed he was hiding something behind his back. "What is it?" she questioned.

"What?" he answered. She loved it when he played innocent. "Whatever it is you're hiding behind your back, Mr. I-love-my-girlfriend-but-I'm-too-manly-to-openly-express-it." She said this followed by some giggling.

Luke came back with a smile. "Well, if you must know. . ." He then presented to her a large bouquet of roses. "Ohhh, Luke, they're. . . well I suppose you already know what I'll say don't you?"

Quiet talk ensued until Ella closed her eyes and leaned her head on Luke's shoulder. Luke assumed she was asleep and didn't say a word. (Translation: I'm not good at romance stories.)

Ella broke the silence. "I was hoping the band would be playing at the gazebo tonight," she said with disappointment.

Out of his pocket Luke grabbed an odd, blue, oval shaped object with holes in it and a mouthpiece attached. "What IS that?" She had no idea what to make of this. "It's called an ocarina," he replied,"Listen." He blew into the mouthpiece and started to play a song. Wow. Ella didn't know he was a musician, much less an incredible one. I mean this song made her feel like she was flowing through time. No other sound had made her feel that way. The only thing that would make this better is if he kissed her. And then her phone started ringing. _Oh, you have GOT to be kidding me_! Luke stopped playing as she took her phone out. Sigh. Way to ruin a great moment. "Who is it?," she asked with a small irritant tone in her voice,"And this better be good." Ok, a lot of irritant tone. "Sign up now and get a fre-". Ella shut the phone off. She turned back towards Luke.

"I think I'll leave it in vibrate from now on."

* * *

><p>Sam stood outside in the waiting room, hoping that that idiot racer would get out of the ER already. She'd been waiting two days to ask him some questions and frankly, she didn't care how bad his injuries were, she just wanted to get this done with. At last they told her he was well enough to be interrogated.<p>

She walked into a room with a large mirror on one end, but she already knew it was actually a two-way mirror so her superiors could view what was happening. Falcon was on the other side of the room, still wearing his racing uniform with his head bandaged up from the car accident. She walked over, sat down in chair, and pulled out a piece of paper with the questions she was supposed to ask.

"Hey, listen babe, if this is about the street racing," he immediately shot out,"I only do that cuz' they said I wasn't good enough for the big leagues. Everything else those lowlifes do, I ain't a part of."

"Shut up. I don't care about the racing," she spat out. "And another thing: don't call me babe again unless you want another set of broken bones. Clear?"

Falcon nodded, starting to sweat. "Good. Now what do you know about Ridley?"

She held up his photo. Falcon leaned forward and stared at it for a few seconds. He then scratched his head in thought.

"Ridley, Ridley. Oh yeah!" Falcon snapped his fingers as he finally got his thoughts together. "Don't hear much about 'im. He comes to the races a few times, bets a few times, but other than we don't know a lot about this guy. Other than the fact that he's got a personality like vicious pteradactyl." Falcon made claws with his fingers as he said this.

Sam sighed. "Anything else?" She was starting to get frustrated. And that would not be a pretty sight. At all.

"Well, no."

"Does he interact with the racers, does he have associates of some kind? Family who might know where he is?"

"Know that I think about it, there is some guy named Kary. That's with a K. I dunno why it's like that but I hear he's sort of Ridley's enforcer or whatever in that area. But like I said, I'm not involved in that, I just race for the heck of it."

"One more thing: why did you stop me when I was going to take off your crash helmet?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Nasty scars from old racing accidents. You don't wanna know."

"I see. Well, thank-you for your cooperation." And Sam left without another word.


	3. Chapter 3

** Hey guys. Look, I'm sorry but I think I'll just have to cut this short. I tried writing a third chapter but the fanfic just sorta lost it after the first. I'm not sure how to get the character development right (personally I think I did Samus's great), I don't know how to tie the characters one big adventure/mystery/threat with each other, no idea how to do occupations and/or defining characteristics for them that still retain their video game selves, and I can't really think of a way to further the plot. Sorry, but I've decided to stop writing this 'fic. For those who don't know, the cop was officer Jenny from the pokemon anime, the robber was a reference to Louie from pikmin (last name: Pikeman), Luke=Link. Ocarina making Ella feel like she's floating through time? DUH! Obvious. Kary was a sad attempt to reference Kraid, the fat guy was Wario, and I planned on giving Link a little sister named Navi who would annoyingly interrupt link and zelda whenever they were about to kiss. Yeah, yeah, so sue me because I was going to include her. Oh, and Isabelle=Isabelle of animal crossing. The cupcake lady Patricia? Peach. Leif was a gardener from animal crossing. Since I already had it written, here's part of chap. 3 with Pit and Palutena. I planned on naming her Paula.**

Sigh. Green eyes. A gorgous white dress. Ever since day one Pit had loved that girl. And he always felt he had a good chance of becoming her boyfriend. Except that 1: She was out of his league and 2: his nickname. "Pit", short for "Armpit", was the name that the playground bullies called him in elementary and junior high. So he would NEVER have a chance with her, period. His friend Ohh, but that green hair. Yeah, she dyed her hair green. A LOT of hair. Like, down to her ANKLES.


End file.
